Ramadan Kareem (:

Good Morning..Ya'll!

How have you all been? I know I KNOW!.. I've gone for too long and I'm sorry.before my list of excuses I wanna say

~Ramadan Kareem~ and I wish all of you to have the best Ramadan of your life filled with joy and good deeds, I know I was supposed to post more often but Ramadan and it's routine took all over..so I'm sorry.

 

Secondly! the 15th of August was my blogs 3ed birthday..! yaaay..I know my first year of blogging was lame but whatever! it still counts..so yeah..thank you for putting up with me and being there throughout the journey..it's been amazing and I appreciate the love and support I got through it all.

I know I am supposed to give you a longer post but I just wanted to say hi and let you know I'm okay and to thank the people that asked about me while I'm gone..I love you all and I wish you health and happiness.

I will be back soon with loads of new stories.so stay tuned. 

Alex.

Mini Cocktail 8

Hiiiiiiiii!!!

~Good morning and HAPPY Tuesday~

 

 

أدري أدري....صارلي أسبوع و أنا مختفيه...سووووووووووووري..بصراحــــة كنت متواجدة على الفيسبوك يعني مو مختفية وايــــد بس شوي...(مادري كيف) المهم فيسبوك....

OMG

كنت مفكرة المخلوقات الفضائية موجودة بس على الماي سبيس

وطلعت غلطانة.....المهم..بس بختصار للناس اللي تبعت مسجات غريبة

No I don't wanna have sex with you! not now..NOT EVER!

moving onnnnnnn

كيف الحال؟ 

المهم ننتقل لأهم الأخبار في الساحة العربية و الخليجية...(قناة الجزيرة ماشاالله) سمعتوا آخر خبر؟ الإتصالات شركتنا العزيزة الخاصة بالإنترنيت و الإتصال قررت أنها تقطع خدمة البلاكبيري في دولة الإمارات...و أول مسج شفته اليوم أول ما قمت من النوم كان مسج من الإتصالات تبشرنا فيه بالخبر السعيد....خخخخخخخخخخخ

طبعا البلد كلها في حالة إنهيار....في اللي قاعد يبكي على الأطلال...و أكثر من شخص كتب قصائد في رثاء البلاكبيري...

which made me pee my pants laughing

المهم...البلد في حالة حداد..بس أتصور الإتصالات ما رح تقطع الخدمة للأبد...مادري ليش..بس أكيد عندها خطة بديلة..إلا إذا كانت تبي الشعب ينتحر...خخخخخخخخخخخخ

اللي متابعني على 

Twitter

أكيد شاف أني سويت الأسبوع الماضي ماراثون جريز أناتومي..طبعا أنا مو متابعة المسلسل بشكل دايم...بس لأني في حالة ملل شفت الموسم السادس كله في يومين! و طبعا أمي طول الوقت تولول من منظر الدم و التقطيع و التقصيب...و بفضل المسلسل أمي كانت تحس فيني إجرام....بس الحين تأكدت

خصوصا لما أقعد أتغدى في نص الحلقة و الدم قاعد يطرطش على الممثلين

yum!!!!

I'm gross...SORRY  XD

المهم..قلتلكم أني أحاول أنقص وزنـــي..من يومين كان عندي فحص روتيني بالمستشفى..قاسولي ضغطي و نبضات قلبي و كل شي كان تمام...يوم خذولي طولي لاحظت أني ما طولت..فزعلت وااااايد...بعدين أتذكرت أني أصلا مو في سن نمو..فقلت أكيد هاذا هو السبب...خخخخخخخخخخخ..

المهم وصلت عند الميزان..و أكتشفت أني زايدة كيلو....

(لحظة حداد)

غريبة مع أني أحس أني ضعفانة.....خخخخخ..يالله ماعليه أهم شي الأخلاق

أتذكر من من زمان تكلمت في هالموضوع بس برجع أتكلم فيه..شو تسوون لما تلاقون نفسكم في موقف أنكم مضطرين تعطون رقمكم لشخص  أنتو ما تبون تكلمونه؟ يعني كيف تتهربون من أنكم تعطون رقمكم لشخص مزعج؟ بصراحة أنا فاشلة في هالشي و لأني ما أبي أزعل حد ألاقي نفسي متوهقة مع ناس تتصل و تقعد تتكلم لساعاااااات..

وفوق ها كله أنا من النوع اللي ما أعرف أنهي المكالمة...يعني أستحي أقول لشخص اللي على الخط أني مشغولة و أبي أسكر..و النتيجة أني أتم على الخط لين تحرق أذني...

لوول

عندكم حل؟

.............

بس ما عندي شي أقوله...يالله باي عاد.....

Alex

بالعربي الغير فصيح

 صباح الخير

 

أدري مصدومين....(أخيرا كتبت بالعربي) والله مو من شي غير منكم...يعني علشان قلبت أنجليزي خلاص بطلتو تزورون المدونة؟....صدق قهرتوني....يالله ماعليه..لازم أرضي الأغلبية...بس اللي قاهرني أني أستسهل الإنجليزي..بس يالله أهم شي أنتو ما تطفشون...المهم

كيف الحال؟ (تو الناس!!!!) تولهتو علي أدري...

هاتو بوسة...

بصراحــــة ماعندي وايــــد كلام أقوله...الويكئند كان وااااااايد مشحون..طلعت وايد و شفت ربعي كلهم...و صعت شوي..صارلي فترة طويلة ما تسليت...والحمدلله ما خليت شي في خاطري ما سويته...

طبعا تخلصت هالأسبوع من هم كان جاثم على صدري...كان عندي إمتحان مهم بالجامعة...و كنت شايلة همه...طبعا يوم أقول شايلة همه أقصد أني أحاتيه بدون دراسة ولا بطيخ...يعني بس أرق و قلق بدون ما أسوي اللي علي..

وهاذي طريقة الناس الفالحة في القلق.....خخخخخخخخخ

المهم...أمتحنت و سويت شغل مضبوط...كيف؟ مادري...أنا عبقرية..شدراني..لا تسألون عاد أووووف شو هالإحراج..؟؟؟؟

 

أممممم....شو بعد صار معاي؟...هيه نسيت قاعدة أسوي رياضة...على أساس أني أبي أنزل شوية وزن...حتى أقدر أشد عضلات جسمي..وبصراحـــــة 

(get ready for a rant) 

مقهوووووووورة من طبيعة جسم البنات مقارنة بالأولاد....يعني الولد عسب يطلع عضلات لازم ياكل بروتين وايد مع رياضة..مو نحن...حتى نذوب الدهون لازم نطفش من معظم أنواع الأكل...و بعدين نشد العضلة...طبعا اللي يسمع يقول الأخت أصلا تاكل...بس هاللي قاهرني...أني أهتم و أدقق في أكلي  وفي الرياضة...لكن أطول لين أشوف فرق.....أوف قهر مع العلم أني معصقلة...بس شو أسوي بعدني أطمح في أني أصير ميجان فوكس الثانية...خخخخخخخخ...

أوكيه خلصت تحرطيم....

عندي خبر مهم....ألا و هو...

I decided to move on and date!

WHAAAAAAAT?

 

نعم...خلاص بسني هوس..بسني نكد...بسني أرف..يعني خلاص..أنا ما أقدر أضيع وقتي في علاقة عايشتنها في خيالي...أحتاج شي حقيقي...و مافيني أنتظر أكثر

so I'll try my luck with next best chance...and we will see how it'll go...

حاولت أنتظرها...بس خلاص...حسيت أني قاعدة أجرح نفسي على الفاضي...أنا موجودة لو كانت تبيني كانت رح تلاقيني بسهولة... بس للأسف، هي خايفة...و الخوف لما يغلب الحب يخليه يضمر و يخف لين يموت...

so thanks, but I need someone to pick me..and fight for me! ):

ياالله ماعلينا.....

I'll just keep telling myself..she's just a pretty face... ):

المهم...أنا بروح الحين...أشوفكم على خير...أحبكم يا دببة...و لو سمحتوا أبي كومنتس و لا ترا والله أكتب بالهيروغليفي المرة الجايــــة..و قد أعذر من أنذر

....

أحبكم لأنكم تقرون بوستاتي حتى و انا قليلة أدب و أهددكم

Now this is real love....LOL (;

Alex

Thursday.July 22.2010

Well Hello again people of the internet. how have you been since my last post? good? :D

Happy Thursday!~ and Happy Weekends..

I'm early I know but I Think since my weekend is gonna be very packed I might not be able to get any internet access until Sunday so I decided to write today and give you your weekly dosage of my awesomeness. LOL!

 

I am excited for something, and I donno if you guys know about this yet or not..but there is a new blog opening soon which is going to be like a Collab or a group effort from some of the usual bloggers that you guys know about! like Zizo from Zizo Magazine, Hussein 

I'm still not sure who's also going to be writing on there BUT I was kindly asked by those awesome people to be apart of this soon to be amazing project and I am Thrilled and flattered.

The blog is going to be called "Arab Gay Pride" and we will try to gather all our thoughts and efforts to come up with some new content directed to the Arabic Gay communities. The blog is still under constructions but it will be great if you guys and girls go and follow us on Facebook and also add the blog to your friends lists.

we also have a twitter account and hopefully we will try to give you the latest updates about the blog on there so be sure to follow us also on Twitter.

So yeah..I'll be writing on there too! I'm not gonna stop my posts here but I'll try and leave the personal stuff on here..and the more serious issues on that one...so yeah Go show your support we need all the support we can get.

also one more thing: if anyone is interested to help out in any way you can e-mail us on:

arabgaypride@hotmail.com

 

on the personal level, I had a great meltdown today! I was feeling down regarding some family issues and I just broke down today...which is something that is bound to happen if you're the type that tries too hard to be okay while everything around you seems to be going down the drains..

so today I realized I must do what I do at such times..which is write down a list of reasons why I should be happy. it's a trick that I think might sound stupid to most of you..but actually helps me greatly.

what you need to do is always look forward, always think about the amazing things waiting for you, and stop dwelling on what went over the past...like today!! I was feeling upset with myself for wasting a lot of my time where other people have managed to get ahead in their careers and lives! then when I calmed down I laughed at how much I'm being silly...I mean if you think about it,all we have in this life is time...so why am I crying over the wasted time when this time sums up many life experiences that made me a better person?

if you think about it..it's not really fair to say that my time was wasted, I've lived through a lot of things and as long as I'm learning then I'm for sure not wasting my time... right?

sometimes I get too critical of myself..I try to push myself a lot to be better...but sometimes We need to take it easy on ourselves..we are in the end humans..and we won't be able to exceed our capabilities if we exhausted ourselves mentally and emotionally crying over what you cannot control.

someone smart told me "it's funny how much we obsess over life when it's just a temporary station"...we cry for problems that are going to be a memory 24 hours later. it's ironic yet relieving somehow!

okay...I realized how boring my post is, so I'll end it here..

I hope you guys have an amazing weekend..you can leave me Questions at formspring if you like.

take care! and cheer up (:

Alex

2:51 AM.

~Good Early Morning...~ 

 

I hope everyone is doing Great..and I have to say I'm sorry for not replying to comments or commenting on others lately..it's just that I have a really good reason...and that it's "I'm Lazy"! you would think this is a joke, but I am telling you guys it's not even funny! I'm dead serious..being lazy is the worst trait anyone could have..it basically means you consume valuable Oxygen without doing any kind of real living of any sort!

so yeah..sorry mother earth! I've been consuming your Oxygen and doing nothing useful back in return! :P

 

I don't have that many new updates...I've been really busy before with my friends and following the world cup and what not, but now that it's over I find myself lacking the excuse to set at coffee shops for hours..AND I have so much free time with all my friends going on vacations out of town.

oh! I forgot..I  think I didn't congratulated Spain properly..I can't really remember if I did in my last post and I'm too lazy to check now (see!? it's insane how lazy I can be!) so anyways even if I did congratulate them they deserve a second round of applause for their win! I'm still excited about it..I mean I had a great feeling about it..and "Paul The Octopus" confirmed my expectations so I kinda knew it..LOL!

 

isn't it funny how the poor Octopus Paul received many deaths threats from the fans of the game due to him predicting the loss of both Germany and Netherlands? I mean it's not enough the poor Octopus has to set all day watching people pressing their stupid faces to the glass of his Aquarium tank to see him and take pictures of him!! but also he needs to go through it while being scared for his own life!? LOL...Hearing about this made me really laugh and feel sorry for the poor little thing! we humans are weird it's not enough how crazy we can get, but we must drag innocent creatures with is in the craziness parade!

 

I saw a great video of the goalkeeper and captain of the Spanish team (Iker Casillas Fernández) being overwhelmed after the win, his girlfriend and news reporter tried to interview him after the game and he was so happy and emotional coz of her support through out this journey he just couldn't resist kissing her live in front of everyone! it was so touching and romantic..it really made my day seeing this video...

Here check it out!

as I said nothing new is going on these days, on the brighter side..she texted me..! she's fine...so she said..but I'm not stupid..I know there's more to it. you don't just disappear on people for no reason...I didn't ask her about her reasons...I don't need justifications coz she doesn't owe me any! I cooled off from my part, and I just told myself that she knows if she needed me... she can find me...but I'm not gonna annoy her anymore with questions checking on her everyday! it's not my job, or to be more specific...it's not my place!

I had an interesting conversation with a friend..we started talking about how loneliness sometimes makes us do things that we normally wouldn't! how the fear of being alone makes us get too weak..and we end up going for anyone we see just coz it's better to be with anyone than no one! we judge people based on our needs at that time..we end up hurting people and getting hurt.

even though it might be so hard not to apply this in the real world but! when you go for someone when you're at that vulnerable state you will most likely get sick of that person once they fulfill that need in you. so the worst time that you can get into a relationship ever! is when you think you need it the most...

I need to get me something to drink...so yeah..see you later. leave me comments or Questions. let me know what you think about my post...bye!

Alex

Someone Like You!

Good Evening~ How have you been my Dear Friends and Readers..(assuming I have any!).

 

I wanted to post this post earlier,however these new updates are very personal that I was worried they might be recognized by some of the people who follow my humble blog. knowing that I'm risking getting exposed I decided to post this..maybe getting caught is the only solution for me....

a close friend gave me the most shocking news of all time..."They are Breaking Up".and this Time it is OVER for real...struggling with so many mixed feelings at a time..Fear was the strongest one of em' all.

I wondered if I had a hand in this...I kept thinking and dissecting every text msg and every Phone call looking for any signs but then I decided to stop acting like an insane loony person considering the fact that I have done nothing at all..

talking to this friend confirmed my idea..she said it got nothing to do with anyone..it's simply not working out between my crush and her girlfriend!

hearing this made me freak out even more! I mean seriously, I was okay with my crush not knowing how I have been feeling toward her since the day we met! and I was welling to go on with my life not letting her know, seeing her giving away her love to someone else! but the fact that she's breaking up with her girlfriend is what I cannot take!

no I'm not crazy...just think about it! she's gonna be single...she'll be back in the dating scene..and she'll be available...which makes it worse for me..knowing she's single yet meeeee not being able to make a move..coz she's my friend..and coz her ex is my best friend too! worse of all the idea of her dating someone new! Holly shit! I just fainted a little! T_T *please excuse my French* :P

it's about time I face it....I am Screwed!

 

The problem is I'm not really moving on..it's been 2 years now since we became friends...meeting her was something I have never ever thought of..I mean meeting her at this point of my life...I've promised myself that I'm not gonna hook up with someone who makes me feel like I'm all special and then shatters my dreams at the first sign of trouble or conflict...just before I met her I've made a promise that I'm gonna wait for something real or spend my life alone rather than any other fake sentimental prison.

I was really broken...and weak...then I saw her...I must admit she was so beautiful...perfect face...perfect features...and a killer smile! just like in the movies...I forgot to breathe at that moment...but I told myself that day..."she's pretty! so what? just another pretty face..I bet she's like everyone else!"

but she wasn't...everyday I assumed she was just a normal girl, and everyday she proved me wrong! and what made it worse is I knew she didn't know I was observing her! it sound creepy now I know! LOL but I was dating and having a life of my own..I didn't plan on making any moves or anything...in fact I dated few different people at the time! but no one seemed good enough..I know I sound very ignorant...but it's true, I was looking for something real and everyone I dated seemed to be faking it...I couldn't help it but get slowly drawn to the only real person I know...

I remember all the times she was around...how I've done the impossible to build up walls of awkwardness between us, just coz I knew she's too hard to resist..I didn't want her to like me or talk to me...coz it'll be even harder for me to stay away...

she's too good to be true, yet so very real..and with time I've known her flaws...I knew she's very sensitive, a crybaby,a dork to the core and that made her real! she wasn't like those people who try to fake perfection and shock you when you least expect them to do...she didn't fake anything..she was honest and genuine and not afraid to disagree with me or anyone else! and I knew with her that what you see is what you get.....she was an angel  with her kindness but a human at all times and I think that made me fall just a little for her.......

(I'm really struggling not to use the L word when I talk about her! LOL :S)

I told my friends I'm not gonna date anymore I'll be looking for friends now...it is not fair to date when every girl makes me realize new things about my feelings for this dork/angel! I know I'll end up hurting people trying to rebound on their expense so I won't! I either try and forget this girl or confess to her and let her make the choice...(which is the most stupid thing I have ever thought of doing!!!!)

ops! I just realized how much I rambled on here! excuse me..oh wait it's my blog I get to do what I want in here..but seriously kudos if you managed to reach this point of my post! you must be REALLY bored.. LOL :D

I still love you for putting up with my rants..here is a kiss *kisssss* :D

okay, beat it now..I'm sleepy..Good night 

Alex

Saturday is Just another Day

Good Evening~How's Everyone doing? 

By Everyone I mean the 2 and a half people who are too nice and keep on reading my pointless posts everyday! I know I've been rambling more that the usual lately...I have a friend Therapist who told me that I need to vent out everyday doing something healthy so I won't keep suppressing my negative feelings..I must say not bottling up my thoughts and pouring them randomly in here might be depressing for you guys to read..but it's actually helping me..I donno how but I always feel a bit lighter after writing my thoughts to you guys.

I woke up today ill...my whole body hurts for some reason and my stomach is not so happy with my choices of food! I spent the whole day laying in bed..with my cup of hot steaming chai Latte and my blanket..listening to music and watching tv then going online then going back to bed...it's been a long boring day for me...I'm still in pain but I feel a bit better after having some food..I feel less dizzy and I decided to write with this energy that I got from my food and Tea...

 

 I've being watching the reality show " The bachelor" which is a clear sign that I'm really bored and that there is nothing good on Tv to watch anymore! I must say this show takes women to a whole new low in life..I donno if I'm more shocked that girls still at this time.. fight for boys or that 25 fully grown women are welling to do it without any hesitation on national TV!

I understand that the show is completely fake and scripted but I still can't understand why people would go through all of the embarrassments and humiliation to be on TV, with fake intentions of finding true love...why don't you guys just cut the crap and say you're doing it for the money and the 15 minutes of fame? instead of insulting the true meaning of love and cheapen it with your cat fights and juvenile arguments!!!

 and what's so funny is the guy in the show...with all the cheap girls hovering around him..honestly that just makes him even more repulsive..I donno how can girls like someone whose been there and done that with everyone is the house! 

ahhhh The things girls do for love and attention!

 

 

 

Tomorrow I'll be cheering for Spain...who do you think is gonna win? I think this world cup has been the weirdest one yet..non of the teams expected to go to the finals did..Brazil,France and Italy left earlier than any would have expected...so I'm not gonna be too surprised if Spain loses tomorrow! but let's hope they don't.

 

ok you guys know how much I'm in love with Coffee and Chai Latte`s...I recently learned how to make the most delicious Caramel Chai Latte` in The World...I know I sound like a big loser LOL but seriously! it tastes like heaven...I used to love making my special Coffee latte`s for my friends and family But this Caramel Latte shall remain mine alone..and maybe one day If I happen to meet someone worthy enough I'll make her some heaven in a cup with extra Caramel...if it happens that this special someone is reading this now..she should know that she's special when she asks me for a drink and I make her my special Caramel Chai Latte`...Hopefully she'll get The Hint! (:

 

there is still no word from her!...I've been trying to avoid talking about her..but I reached this part of the post and now I couldn't help it but say something about her....I decided that I am not fit for a relationship now..with my career being a bit too messy and with the potential of me moving to a new city...I'm not supposed to get attached to anyone...so I guess this part of my life is in my favor..I mean after my big move I'm sure I won't run into her everyday like before..then I'll have no other choice than to move on..right?

 

 

this is irrelevant, but few days ago I got some news about my ex.

this girl was so mean that within two weeks of our break up moved on into dating someone new without taking anytime to show her regret about the break up! she cheated on me so I had no choice but to break up with her....and Of course I have no regrets about that..

anyway...few days ago I got news about her...breaking up too..! it turned out that she dumped her new girlfriend coz the second one cheated on her! how ironic...but I wasn't surprised...life has a cruel funny way of giving you a taste of your own medicine!

I can't say I didn't see that one coming! but...I am not gloating or anything...I'm just using this to remind myself that Karma is a bitch! LOL

Alex

Min Hoon O Hooneek 13

good evening to you my friends~ and Happy Thursday!

I'm sorry that most my posts lately have been in English, I promiss you it's not gonna be a usual habit but I'm stuck again outside my house with no internet of my own..I borrowed this computer and I decided to post something coz I know how you guys can't go on with your weekends without my Thursday wishes and post~ yeah Right!!!!! :P

...............

before anything..Congrats for Spain for their Amazing game and win! and if you're a fan of The German Team...well..I'm sorry I guess? LOL

I know most of you don't follow the world cup but it seems that I got hooked and I'm gonna struggle when the world cup is over coz it was so much for me to follow the games and watch them with my friends..it became like a daily thing for me and my friends, now I'm not sure what I'll be doing when it's over...coz I used it as an excuse to hang out everyday with my friends. I'm a bit bummed..but I'm glad I had my fun with it.

for some reason I found myself cheering The Spanish Team just coz I liked their Player and main man "David Villa" I donno why but he's just adorable! LOL and I think you guys need to check out the rest of the team..they have few cuties on there if you know what I mean! *wink* LOL

...........

Ramadan is on it's way!!!! OMG! is it just me or does time fly faster than it's suppose to? I have to admit something bad, well it's not bad but I know you people are gonna think I'm being an ass...BUT I'm so not ready for Ramadan...I mean..I am starting some new program at School which demands my full attention and devotion..it's gonna be like a 4 courses program and I need to achieve THE highest Grades in all 4 of them coz that would provide me with some amazing opportunities for the future! and it happens that I need to be fully ready to bust my ass and prepare and study everyday...and then Ramadan hits me! and you guys need to know that without my Chai Latte's and iced capps I'm good for nothing! and I wish I was kidding..but I'm not! I cannot think or produce anything without my daily supply of Caffiene..

so to be honest...I am not so excited about that...even though Ramadan is supposed to be the time where we produce more than we usually do..I find that hard to achieve without Coffee! to honest I don't mind fasting all year long if I was only allowed to have my coffee, I swear I'll be so happy and doing it with a big smile!

...............

I noticed my post is consisting of pointless ramblings, so why not share few updates with you about my love life...which is basically a regular life minus the love part!

things are normal...and by normal I mean nothing is going like I'm expecting! I've been avoiding this girl that I like with the hope that my forgetful nature will make me forget her soon..but for some reason the more I withdraw and become more stiff the more I find her inviting and friendly! I tried to convince myself with the repercussions of what might happen if I let myself slip into this lethal love triangle..I thought about it thoroughly and I couldn't come up with any scenario that would make me not hurt my best friend and get the girl I want...and there was non!

so I kept telling myself to snap out of it...for some reason..the events of college life and friends kept pushing me toward her..everything is leading for a friendship that is so painful for me to handle..but at the same time I can't refuse it without making everyone suspect something...sms msg's between us became like a natural thing between regular friends..and then came the long more detailed e-mails that carried so much detailed information than our usual "hi" and "hello" sms's...they were more warm and sweet..and personal!

I couldn't help it but feel like both Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in their "you've got mail" movie..specially with the sweet anticipation of opening your e-mail to find anything from that person that reassures the silly romantic ideas you have build up in your head..

 I loved our old fashioned way of comunicating...maybe coz deep inside we both long for something like what we see in the movies....or maybe that's just me!

today...and specificly early morning of today..I was unable to fall asleep..so I logged to my myspace page which is private for my friends only..(sorry guys..LOL) only to find her account deleted..!

I looked around hoping that I was wrong...but..I wasn't..I checked my e-mail..I thought maybe I'll find any hits of her going missing...but I found nothing...I should be somewhat glad..coz I needed the space....but...for some reason..a little part of me feels like it went missing..

I just hope she's okay..

.................

so yeah I'm sorry for going on and on with my stuff...I hope you guys have an amazing weekend, and I'll be expecting your questions and comments on formspring.

Alex

OTR| Oh That's Normal!

Hello...

 

eating: nothing.

Drinking: Chai Latte.

Listening to: Burn|Alkaline Trio.

Mood: Sleepy. -,-

 

طبيعي...

 

 

لما نستخدم هالكلمة للإشارة لشيء معين أو سلوك إجتماعي معين، شو اللي نقصده؟

كثيرين يقولولي...أنتي مش طبيعية

نمط الحياة اللي تعيشينها مش طبيعي...

سؤال....

شو هو الشي الطبيعي؟

لو بنفكر بالشي الطبيعي فهو ببساطة الشي المتعارف عليه و المألوف في المجتمع بحيث الأغلبية من الناس في المحيط الإجتماعي اللي الفرد فيه توافق عليه..و تشيد فيه كسلوك مناسب للجميع

سؤال ثاني...

كيف ممكن نحدد الشيء المناسب للجميع في حيث كل شخص في الدنيا مختلف عن الشخص الآخر بنسبة أو بأخرى، حتى لو نظرنا للأسرة الواحدة رح نلاقي فرق شاسع و تباين في كل فرد فيها بحيث ما عادت الأم أو الأب قادرين على فرض سلوكيات معينة للكل بدون ما تصير إنتفاضة بين الأبناء لأن كل واحد فيهم " مختلف" فكيف نحدد السلوك الطبيعي بطريقة تناسب الكل؟

لما نقول أنه هالسلوك طبيعي...أو ذاك السلوك مش طبيعي..عن شو بالضبط نحن قاعدين نتكلم؟

و هالشي المش طبيعي..هل هو مش طبيعي لأنه الشخص مو عاجبه هالسلوك فخلاص قرر أنه يعمم على الجميع إعتقاداته و كأنها قرآن كريم؟...

 شخصيا أنا مؤمنة بحرية التفكير...لكن فرض الراي هو اللي ما أوافق عليه..لأنه دليل على جهل تام...اللي رأيه صحيح المفروض ما يخاف، مصير الصدق يبين..واللي معاه الحق مو محتاج لطرق سخيفه لتعميم رأيه...

........

في الإمارات عندنا..أول ما الطفلة المولودة تبدأ تكبر و يصير عندها شهور تاخذها الأم حتى تسوي

piercing

لأذنها..حتى تبدأ البنت تلبس حلق في إذنها بإعتبار هالشي نورمال و طبيعي...بينما في أمريكا يعتبر ثقب الأذن مثل ثقب الحاجب و اللسان و أغلب الأهل ممكن ما يسمحون للبنت حتى يصير عمرها 16 حتى تثقب إذنها....

which is Normal?

.............

عندنا البنت يزوجونها بدون موافقتها..و ما تشوف زوجها غير ليلة العرس....و في أغلب الحالات صدمتها بمعرس الغفلة تكون مالها أول ولا تالي...لأنه يطلع شايب..ومغبر...وعنده كرش و أصلع..و البنت حتى ما يحقلها تعترض و لا تشتكي

لكن في الدول الغربية و بعض الدول العربية اللي الله فاتح عليهم، تختار البنت عريسها بنفسها..وتتزوج عن حب...حتى في بعض الدول البنت هي اللي تخطب الولد..

which is Normal?
..............

في الإسلام البنت يحق لها تشوف الخاطب و تكلمه..وتخلعه بعد الزواج لو ما عجبها بعد....لكن اللي تخلع زوجها في المجتمع عندنا تعتبر وقحة و ما تستحي.....لاحظو كيف التقاليد ماشية عكس الدين...و طبعا أنا أصلا شايفة الزواج التقليدي بكبره غباء لا متناهي الحدود....

أنتوا شو رايكم....

WHICH is normal? and Who decides what's normal? is it me? you? Islam? Society? Traditions? Adam Lambert? LOL!

..........

عندنا الشاب قد الثور عمره ثلاثين سنة...يخلي أمه تخطبله على ذوقها شريكة حياته و أم عياله المستقبلية....لكن أتحداكم تلاقون واحد في الثلاثين يخلي أمه تشتريله النعال اللي   في رجله.....أكيد لو أقول لأي شاب خلي أمك تشتريلك الشوز..رح يقول أنتي هبلة؟ كيف أمي بتعرف
تشتريلي نعال يناسب ذوقي؟...و أم عيالك المستقبلية يالثور؟ مو مشكلة لو ما طلعت مناسبة؟

هاذا السلوك اللي متعارف عليه في مجتمعي....

but tell me...is that normal?

............

الزوج يحقله يضرب مرته للتأديب....
it's perfectly normal in our society!
و الزوجة أم العيال كرامتها تنهان كل يوم قدام عيالها....الطبيعي إنها تصبر...و اللي تطلب الطلاق أو تهجر زوجها تصير ناشزة بحكم الدين....

what's normal in this situation?

..........

أنا مثلية....
أدرس..أشتغل...عايشة مع أهلي....وعندي صداقات كثيرة...أحترم الكل و الكل يحترمني..لأني مثلية قررت أنه الأنسب لي أني ما أتزوج..ولا أفرض على نفسي نمط حياة ضد فطرتي....ما حبيت أمثل على اللي حوالي أني بتغير لما أتزوج ولا قدرت أكذب و أورط إنسان ماله ذنب معاي....مافي أي نية خبيثة ورا قراري....كل اللي أبيه أني أعيش بسلام..بدون ما أفرض على نفسي حياة كريهة علشان غيري يرتاح

what's so abnormal about that?

Alex

...........

 

My Birthday Noodles

~good evening everyone!~

when I started this post it was barely 10:40 p.m and somehow I'm all alone and everyone is already in bed..! I love to have all the time for myself yet when I find myself having it I start wondering..what can I do with all this free time?

my birthday was few days ago..and as always..I didn't do anything special in it...it's hard to plan your birthday for yourself coz you're single and have no one to plan it for you! this is not how it's supposed to go..you're supposed to set and relax..act all clueless about it and pretend all surprised when your family throws you a big surprise party that you knew it was gonna happen all along..but you're too polite to ruin it for everyone! well...that's not what happened with me..my birthday went quietly just like any other day..and I kinda didn't mind it..coz for some reason I tend to feel much more lonely when it's my birthday..or if it was a special day that we're celebrating...I just feel a bit weird..having to celebrate another special day alone..

I donno if I'm the only one who feels that way on my birthday..but I just need a special person to share such moments with me..otherwise all I'm doing is blowing a candle and eating a piece of cake..!

I probably sound like a brat now..but I'm not really! just think about it..what makes a moment a special one? is it coz it happened on a specific date? or coz you shared it with someone special? I donno about you guys, but to me..my birthday holds no meaning to me what so ever..I could be setting home in my PJs and eating cup noodles for my birthday dinner..but that would be exactly what I need if it's with someone that cares about me..that would be just as perfect as any birthday surprise I could imagine.

 

I couldn't help it but remember how it was for me to share my birthday with a special girl an then I remembered!!...I never did! even my last birthday..I was dating someone whom I thought was special, but she decided to not make a big deal out of my birthday..leaving me to spend the day alone like always...I kinda forgot this memory but the flashbacks haunts me at such occasions...but for some reason I find this a good thing...this is one more thing I didn't get to experience...one more thing I look forward to and one more thing I'm saving for someone worthy...and now I find myself smiling..coz I can't wait to eat my cup noodles wearing my Pj's and cuddling to someone that doesn't care what we're doing as long as we're doing it together! (:

 

P.S. Happy Birthday to Me :D

Alex

Midnight Bottle

hello everyone !!!~ Happy Monday! and happy 4th of July..

I know I'm a day late but I was busy so sorry... :P

Sorry for posting this in English I happen to be out of my house now and I borrowed a computer to post you guys a post since I didn't post in couple of days.

I hope you guys had an amazing weekend as I did! my weekend turned out to be so much fun and it ended with me+all my best friends spending the night together..eating and singing and just having the most amazing time ever! and yes!! it was exactly what I needed to feel better.

Since I didn't have a computer all weekend and till tonight I didn't check any of my profiles online..and of course I didn't check the one where my crush leaves me msg's and stuff...so not only it was a physical break but a mental and an emotional one too! I felt like I was missing a limb not talking to her or anything since Thursday..not that she cares or not that she'll notice that I was missing..but it was good for me..I needed to know that I am capable of going on for days without knowing her news or obsessing over her msg's over the internet or myspace!

yes it's official for the passing weeks I have noticed that I..Alex! have turned from a sweet caring friend to a creepy online stalker! of course she doesn't know that I check my e-mails and inbox everywhere hoping with her name on my mail pop-up window...and of course -other than you guys-no one knows that I do it every 5 mins..but I know that I am crossing the fine line between caring and creepy..and that's not what I wanna be! that's not how I want her to see me..LOL!

I have to say that me and her have grew a bit closer! and the only reason for me being this hurt about it is that it was much easier for me before to hide my feelings and pretend that they didn't matter..but with her being more around me it's becoming much difficult for me..to be caring without being too caring and outing myself to her! sometimes liking a person is something that is hard to control! but what you can control is how you go about those feelings! and I still find myself extremely strong...coz I have urges to act upon those feelings..yet I don't.

the only new thing I learned through this experience is that sometimes you find the most perfect person in the world for you..but even that is not enough, you can find the right person..but the right person must find you back..otherwise you're stuck in one sided pointless love! but again, love doesn't have a purpose..when you love someone...then that's it..it doesn't matter if they love back or not..coz if you're loving just to be loved back then your love is a love based on conditions and love can never be real if it isn't unconditional! and this is why I keep telling myself I'm gonna be fine! even if this crush turned out to be much more than just a crush...coz I'm not expecting anything in return.

Alex

just another Weekend

Hello everyone...
it's the weekend.....Happy Weekend Everyone


المفروض أني أكون في الفراش الحين لأنه وراي يوم طويـــــل..ولازم أقعد من الصبح لكن فيني نشاط غير عادي...قلت أكتب لكم بوست صغير... ..بكرة و من الصبح بروح دبـــي..مع أنه مالي مزاج وايد أطلع..بس صديقاتي قرروا ينظمون طلعة شوبينج و بصراحـــة الطلعة مع قروبي بتساعدني أغير جو شوي من الجو النكدي اللي كنت فيه هالأسبوع
طبعا الشوبينج بيكون المحور الأساسي لهالطلعة...so it this should help

هالأسبوع ناويــــة أسوي makeover وأقص شعري و أغير شوي في ستايلي..دايما هالشي يرفع معنوياتي..
المهم...
if you see someone hot tomorrow in Dubai..it's probably one of my friends coz I look like shit

......................................

Mean Girls




حد فيكم شاف هالفيلم؟...أكتشفت أنه قروب البنات الشريرات شي موجود تقريبا في كل مكان...أي جامعة/مدرسة/كلية فيها مجموعة من البنات اللي يمشون مثل القطيع في قروب أو مجموعات..و مستحيل تلاقونهم منفصلين، لأنهم عانون من إنعدام الثقة و لأنهم مصدر لنشر الإشاعات و النميمة بين الناس فهم يخافون يتواجدون لحالهم في أي مكان..لأن قوتهم في إتحادهم ضد الكل...

في جامعتي قروب من هالنوع...

هالناس عندها أزمة إنعدام الثقة في النفس..مو بس لأنهم يحشون في الخلق..لكن لأنهم يقولون الكلام و هم ما عندهم أدنى ثقة أو قدرة في تحمل عواقب هالكلام اللي يقولونه و لهالسبب يمشون في مجموعات..لأنهم يخافون من الناس..و من المواجهه..
and most importantly they hate themselves they can't even spend one second alone

اليوم كنت أفكر فيهم بعد ما سووا مشكلة كبيرة في الجامعة، حسيت بأنهم مساكين...لأنه اللي مجمعهم هو الكره...
كراهيتهم لأي حد أحسن منهم أو أذكى منهم أو للأسف أحلى منهم..والعلاقات اللي تنبني على هالأساس تنتهي لنفس السبب..{الكراهـــــية}
بيني و بين نفسي أحس أنهم ما يطيقون بعض...لكن مالهم غير بعض...و لو تفرقوا كل وحدة بتلاقي نفسها وحيدة..و هالشي يحسسهم بالنقص...لهالسبب يفضلون يدققون في عيوب الناس..و إلا بيضطرون يشوفون عيوبهم الشخصية...وهها هو أكبر 
{مخاوفهم}

..............

So...hope you all have an amazing weekend...and don't forget to formspring me anytime with your questions

Alex