Midnight Bottle

hello everyone !!!~ Happy Monday! and happy 4th of July..

I know I'm a day late but I was busy so sorry... :P

Sorry for posting this in English I happen to be out of my house now and I borrowed a computer to post you guys a post since I didn't post in couple of days.

I hope you guys had an amazing weekend as I did! my weekend turned out to be so much fun and it ended with me+all my best friends spending the night together..eating and singing and just having the most amazing time ever! and yes!! it was exactly what I needed to feel better.

Since I didn't have a computer all weekend and till tonight I didn't check any of my profiles online..and of course I didn't check the one where my crush leaves me msg's and stuff...so not only it was a physical break but a mental and an emotional one too! I felt like I was missing a limb not talking to her or anything since Thursday..not that she cares or not that she'll notice that I was missing..but it was good for me..I needed to know that I am capable of going on for days without knowing her news or obsessing over her msg's over the internet or myspace!

yes it's official for the passing weeks I have noticed that I..Alex! have turned from a sweet caring friend to a creepy online stalker! of course she doesn't know that I check my e-mails and inbox everywhere hoping with her name on my mail pop-up window...and of course -other than you guys-no one knows that I do it every 5 mins..but I know that I am crossing the fine line between caring and creepy..and that's not what I wanna be! that's not how I want her to see me..LOL!

I have to say that me and her have grew a bit closer! and the only reason for me being this hurt about it is that it was much easier for me before to hide my feelings and pretend that they didn't matter..but with her being more around me it's becoming much difficult for me..to be caring without being too caring and outing myself to her! sometimes liking a person is something that is hard to control! but what you can control is how you go about those feelings! and I still find myself extremely strong...coz I have urges to act upon those feelings..yet I don't.

the only new thing I learned through this experience is that sometimes you find the most perfect person in the world for you..but even that is not enough, you can find the right person..but the right person must find you back..otherwise you're stuck in one sided pointless love! but again, love doesn't have a purpose..when you love someone...then that's it..it doesn't matter if they love back or not..coz if you're loving just to be loved back then your love is a love based on conditions and love can never be real if it isn't unconditional! and this is why I keep telling myself I'm gonna be fine! even if this crush turned out to be much more than just a crush...coz I'm not expecting anything in return.

Alex