BAD DAY

hay guys...good morning to you if you're still up and if not then I guess good evening or afternoon /:

I'm starting this post with a warning..this post might be super depressing and boring so if you're not in the mood then just leave now..LOL (great way to start a post hah?) anywhoooo, I'm sorry this is in English I know some of you hates it when I go on rambling in English but you have to excuse me this time..I'm really tired and emotionally drained so please bare with me. I just need to let out few things here coz it's late and I'm feeling lonely and it's gonna be hard for me to call a friend now without looking like a total creep.

well...I really donno where I'm supposed to start...

you guys know that I have been struggling with some feelings that I've been having for a while now

..well things aren't going so great. I was planing to do all what I can do to let go of her and give myself sometime to heal...and this is why I have been missing in action for a while..I was planing on cutting all my means of communications with her, and up until today things has been going according to my plan...and as expected I'm going through shitty times and feeling like a drug addict undergoing the withdrawal affects of beautiful poison but a poison never the less.

it's not the most enjoyable feeling ever...I basically have to undergo some emotional pain not only coz I'm not talking o her...but also coz I get to witness with my own eyes how she is giving away her love to someone else.

and today was one of those days..seeing her saying all what I've wished for but for sure not to me..LOL

):

so yeah...if you're wondering where am I..I'm simply here..just feeling somewhat down and I already said it before I hate to blog about depressing issues...but I might just have to break my own rule just this once.

I don't like to just undergo the pain without milking it with at least one good outcome so this time I learned that...you have to take responsibility for liking someone...I mean don't get me wrong most of us end up falling in love with someone without thinking..but for me...I knew what I was getting myself into so now that things totally sucks for me it's not right nor fair for me to blame it on someone else...I knew the girl was not single from the beginning so I somewhat knew how hard it's gonna be for me to ever get a chance with her...and now I'm owning up to it and reminding myself to take responsibility for the pain I brought into my own life.

My advise to all of you if you ever found yourself falling too deep with a friend's girlfriend or boyfriend, never tell anyone and never tell that person how you feel...try to be the good friend and that's all. if you ever want even a small chance with that person you better keep your feelings to yourself...you never know what the future holds for you and them..so don't ruin it by confessing your feelings too early or trying to break up two people coz you're too selfish to see that others have the right to be as happy as you!

well that's what I have been doing and believe me it sounds much easier than it actually is..But all the right things in life tend to be the hardest too!

I know this sounds harsh but it's the truth...and I can fool people and say I didn't know it's gonna get this ugly..but I knew from the start that I'm gazing at the sun and hoping not to lose my sight.

I just need time and I'm sure I will heal...I mean that's gotta happen in the end..right?.......RIGHT?

I only wish She wasn't this AMAZING maybe letting go won't be such a bitch!

check out this song...This video never fails to help. (:

Bad Day| Daniel Powter

Alex